Jesus has taught me so much over this past year!
He has taught me about my identity being rooted in His righteousness... He has taught me how to speak the truth in love... He has taught me what real community is... He has taught me what sacrificial love looks like...
One other thing that He is beginning to teach me is what it means to have a gentle and quiet spirit.
If you're like MOST women who read 1 Peter 3:4, then you see the words "gentle and quiet spirit" as one of two things:
1) If you are a quiet, passive woman then you see these words from Scripture as an encouragement. These are words that let you know that you are "doing the right thing," that it is OK for you to never speak up, and that passivity is acceptable.
2) If you are NOT a quiet woman and tend to be more active, then you see these Words from Scripture as condemning. You read this verse and inwardly shrink back and think "that is not who I am and no matter how hard I try, I cannot be her." Then you begin to beg the Lord to change you because you feel awful, somehow less than a woman, and when He doesn't, you get confused.
Well, if you are reading this note, then more than likely you already know that I would fall into the category of woman #2. Also, let me go ahead and blow those two lies right outta the water by saying that both of those common interpretations are false.
Let me share a little bit of my story with you. First, never in my life have I been "quiet." I was the child that my mother had to "shush" in public places, either for my constant singing or babbling about whatever daydream I had going on at the time. I was the first student in class with her hand raised, ready to answer the question. I was the first person with a rebuttal in an argument, ready to give reason for my defense. I was the first friend to offer what I always thought would be the best solution to any problem.
Basically, I was always the first to speak, regardless of the situation.
Given this personality of mine, reading that a woman should have a "gentle and quiet spirit" stung.
It cut me deep.
And I felt hopeless.
Then, the Spirit began to do something in my heart that I honestly thought was never a possibility for me.
He began to teach me what a "gentle and quiet spirit" actually is.
The connotation that comes with the word "gentle" is one of weakness; words like fragile, soft, and tender come to mind. But who says that is what this verse means? That a woman has to be weak, fragile?
No, no. Gentleness is actually POWER under control. And where do I get that from? A couple of places.
We see in Proverbs 15:1 that a "gentle answer turns away wrath." To turn away wrath, there has to be some kind of force involved that opposes the wrath. AND if that force is succeeding in its defeat of the wrath by turning it away, then I would say that it is pretty powerful! This goes back to the whole "speaking the truth in love" thing that I mentioned earlier. It's all connected, you see ;)
Also, Galations 5:22-23 lists the fruits of the Spirit, one of which is gentleness, followed by self-control. So first of all, these fruits are not listed for only women to have in their lives... they are listed as attributes to be developed in ALL believers. Second of all, every fruit of the Spirit is a product of the True Vine and I can assure you, there is nothing WEAK about Jesus!
OK, so at this point in the learning process I was thinking, "Well, the gentle part makes more sense now. But still, QUIET? Not me..."
Might I propose that this word "quiet" is actually referring to the propriety of our words? Let me explain...
1 Timothy 3:11 (although here specifically referring to leaders' wives) says these women are to be "worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." These woman are respectable because their words are both restrained and true.
Evidence that words are a big deal:
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise bring healing" (Proverbs 12:18).
It cut me deep.
And I felt hopeless.
Then, the Spirit began to do something in my heart that I honestly thought was never a possibility for me.
He began to teach me what a "gentle and quiet spirit" actually is.
The connotation that comes with the word "gentle" is one of weakness; words like fragile, soft, and tender come to mind. But who says that is what this verse means? That a woman has to be weak, fragile?
No, no. Gentleness is actually POWER under control. And where do I get that from? A couple of places.
We see in Proverbs 15:1 that a "gentle answer turns away wrath." To turn away wrath, there has to be some kind of force involved that opposes the wrath. AND if that force is succeeding in its defeat of the wrath by turning it away, then I would say that it is pretty powerful! This goes back to the whole "speaking the truth in love" thing that I mentioned earlier. It's all connected, you see ;)
Also, Galations 5:22-23 lists the fruits of the Spirit, one of which is gentleness, followed by self-control. So first of all, these fruits are not listed for only women to have in their lives... they are listed as attributes to be developed in ALL believers. Second of all, every fruit of the Spirit is a product of the True Vine and I can assure you, there is nothing WEAK about Jesus!
OK, so at this point in the learning process I was thinking, "Well, the gentle part makes more sense now. But still, QUIET? Not me..."
Might I propose that this word "quiet" is actually referring to the propriety of our words? Let me explain...
1 Timothy 3:11 (although here specifically referring to leaders' wives) says these women are to be "worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." These woman are respectable because their words are both restrained and true.
Evidence that words are a big deal:
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise bring healing" (Proverbs 12:18).
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24).
"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (Proverbs 18:8).
"Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet" (Proverbs 29:5).
I list these verses to support the claim that this word "quiet" does not mean "to be forever silent" because words are good. In fact, words are so good that God chose to SPEAK creation into existance rather than think it. And He refers to His Son as "The Word" who was with Him in the beginning, through Whom all things were actually created because they were SPOKEN and Jesus is literally God's WORD (John 1:1-3).
BUT when we speak, we must speak controlled, wise, and true words.
Now, by no means do I have this "gentle and quiet spirit" mastered. In fact, I am far from being a woman that these two words actually describe at all. But, I can assure you that through an abundance of grace being poured out on my life and the constant ministering of the Holy Spirit, I am learning. Would you pray with me?
"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts" (Proverbs 18:8).
"Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet" (Proverbs 29:5).
I list these verses to support the claim that this word "quiet" does not mean "to be forever silent" because words are good. In fact, words are so good that God chose to SPEAK creation into existance rather than think it. And He refers to His Son as "The Word" who was with Him in the beginning, through Whom all things were actually created because they were SPOKEN and Jesus is literally God's WORD (John 1:1-3).
BUT when we speak, we must speak controlled, wise, and true words.
Now, by no means do I have this "gentle and quiet spirit" mastered. In fact, I am far from being a woman that these two words actually describe at all. But, I can assure you that through an abundance of grace being poured out on my life and the constant ministering of the Holy Spirit, I am learning. Would you pray with me?
No comments:
Post a Comment