Married people have often told myself and other singles that we will not get married until we are content in our singleness.
I would like to humbly submit that this is said in error.
Let me explain... first, I do want to stress that contentment in Christ is absolutely paramount to having Jesus be Lord in your life and that every believer, regardless of his or her marital status, should be satisfied in Christ alone. Second, I also want to say that I do understand that when married folks share this “bit-o-wisdom” with us single women and men, I know that it is well-intended.
BUT, if I may, I am suggesting to you that this statement (and viewpoint) actually facilitates a works-based mentality that is more harmful than helpful in most cases. The Spirit doesn’t require us to attain a certain state or “level” before He grants us with any spiritual gift. The “gift” of singleness described in Scripture is the same word— “charisma” —that is used elsewhere in Scripture in reference to the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, discernment, prophecy, marriage, etc. We can’t earn any of these gifts any more than we earn salvation. EVERY gift is all of grace.
Moreover, none of us are told that we will be given all of these gifts! Right now, I (and others) have the “charisma” of singleness. Perhaps one day we will have the “charisma” of marriage... but perhaps not. It does us no service to hear, “your time will come,” or, “one day... you just wait!” when in fact, no one knows if that is at all in Abba’s good and sovereign will for our lives! Our hope cannot be placed in the possibility of a future marriage.
We are single today because that is exactly what our Abba has apportioned to us today.
I am only saying all of this as an encouragement to my married brothers and sisters who are trying to encourage us single brothers and sisters... let’s all direct each other’s eyes to be fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, the One in whom our hope should lie.
Some practical ways you can love and encourage the singles in your life:
-Pray for them regularly, and let them know that you do! (I hope that you do this for all of your friends- single and married alike!)
-Invite them into your home and include them in your families.
-Men, if you’re able, offer to help single women with home repairs or other things that may be a bit more difficult for them to accomplish alone.
-Lastly, when your single friend has a hard day and wants to “vent” about his/her singleness.... listen. The pain and emotions that are at times associated with singleness are real. Share your own stories of wrestling with your current life circumstances if you’d like! But always end by pointing his/her eyes to Christ for satisfaction.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, that photo is of myself in 1 of 12... that's right, 12... bridesmaid dresses I own ;)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, that photo is of myself in 1 of 12... that's right, 12... bridesmaid dresses I own ;)
