Birth control: an abortifacient

Let me begin by stating that I am well aware of the fact that this will not be a post that many will agree with. And let me follow that up with stating that I am in FULL agreement with everything that the below article, written by Randy Alcorn, states.

Many of my friends have gotten married over the past year, and I have several more who are preparing for their marriages now. Birth control became a hot topic among friends- "Which one is the most effective?", "How much does it cost?", and "When should I begin taking it?" were all popular questions. Because this is not something that I had ever needed to think about before, I decided to do some research. The below article is one that I feel adequately sums up all of my research and clearly states that birth control is an abortifacient.

Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?: A Short Condensation

By Randy Alcorn

Please note that this condensation is from an older version of Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?. Go to the book page to read the complete text of the updated 10th edition, published December 2011.

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“The Pill” is the popular term for more than forty different commercially available oral contraceptives. In medicine, they are commonly referred to as BCPs (birth control pills) or OCs (oral contraceptives). They are also called “Combination Pills,” because they contain a combination of estrogen and progestin.

The Pill is used by about fourteen million American women each year. Across the globe it is used by about sixty million. The question of whether it causes abortions has direct bearing on untold millions of Christians, many of them prolife, who use and recommend it.

In 1991, while researching the original edition of my book, ProLife Answers to ProChoice Arguments, I heard someone suggest that birth control pills can cause abortions. This was brand new to me; in all my years as a pastor and a prolifer, I had never heard it before. I was immediately skeptical.

My vested interests were strong in that Nanci and I used the Pill in the early years of our marriage, as did many of our prolife friends. Why not? We believed it simply prevented conception. We never suspected it had any potential for abortion. No one told us this was even a possibility. I confess I never read the fine print of the Pill’s package insert, nor am I sure I would have understood it even if I had.

In fourteen years as a pastor I did considerable premarital counseling, I always warned couples against the IUD because I’d read it could cause early abortions. I typically recommended young couples use the Pill because of its relative ease and effectiveness.

At the time I was researching ProLife Answers, I found only one person who could point me toward any documentation that connected the Pill and abortion. She told me of just one primary source that supported this belief and I found only one other. Still, these two sources were sufficient to compel me to include this warning in the book:

Some forms of contraception, specifically the intrauterine device (IUD), Norplant, and certain low-dose oral contraceptives, often do not prevent conception but prevent implantation of an already fertilized ovum. The result is an early abortion, the killing of an already conceived individual. Tragically, many women are not told this by their physicians, and therefore do not make an informed choice about which contraceptive to use.”[1]

As it turns out, I made a critical error. At the time, I incorrectly believed that “low-dose” birth control pills were the exception, not the rule. I thought most people who took the Pill were in no danger of having abortions. What I’ve found in more recent research is that since 1988 virtually all oral contraceptives used in America are low-dose, that is, they contain much lower levels of estrogen than the earlier birth control pills.

The standard amount of estrogen in the birth control pills of the 1960s and early ‘70s was 150 micrograms.

After the Pill had been on the market fifteen years, many serious negative side effects of estrogen had been clearly proven. These included blurred vision, nausea, cramping, irregular menstrual bleeding, headaches, increased incidence of breast cancer, strokes, and heart attacks, some of which led to fatalities.[2]

In response to these concerns, beginning in the mid-seventies, manufacturers of the Pill steadily decreased the content of estrogen and progestin in their products. The average dosage of estrogen in the Pill declined from 150 micrograms in 1960 to 35 micrograms in 1988. These facts are directly stated in an advertisement by the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals and Ortho Pharmaceutical Corporation in Hippocrates magazine.[3]

Pharmacists for Life confirms: “As of October 1988, the newer lower dosage birth control pills are the only type available in the U.S., by mutual agreement of the Food and Drug Administration and the three major Pill manufacturers.”[4]

What is now considered a “high dose” of estrogen is 50 micrograms, which is in fact a very low dose in comparison to the 150 micrograms once standard for the Pill. The “low-dose” pills of today are mostly 20-35 micrograms. As far as I can tell, there are no birth control pills available today that have more than 50 micrograms of estrogen. An M.D. wrote to inform me that she had researched many pills by name and could confirm my findings. If such pills exist at all, they are certainly rare.

Not only was I wrong in thinking low-dose contraceptives were the exception rather than the rule, I didn’t realize there was considerable documented medical information linking birth control pills and abortion. The evidence was there, I just didn’t probe deeply enough to find it. Still more evidence has surfaced in subsequent years. I have presented this evidence in detail in my 115-page bookDoes the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? I will now summarize that research.

The Physician’s Desk Reference (PDR)

The Physician’s Desk Reference is the most frequently used reference book by physicians in America. The PDR, as it’s often called, lists and explains the effects, benefits, and risks of every medical product that can be legally prescribed. The Food and Drug Administration requires that each manufacturer provide accurate information on its products, based on scientific research and laboratory tests.

As you read the following, keep in mind that the term “implantation,” by definition,always involves an already conceived human being. Therefore, any agent which serves to prevent implantation functions as an abortifacient.

This is the PDR’s product information for Ortho-Cept, as listed by Ortho, one of the largest manufacturers of the Pill:

Combination oral contraceptives act by suppression of gonadotropins. Although the primary mechanism of this action is inhibition of ovulation, other alterations include changes in the cervical mucus, which increase the difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus, and changes in the endometrium which reduce the likelihood of implantation.[5]

The FDA-required research information on the birth control pills Ortho-Cyclen and Ortho Tri-Cyclen also state that they cause “changes in...the endometrium (which reduce the likelihood of implantation).”[6]

Notice that these changes in the endometrium, and their reduction in the likelihood of implantation, are not stated by the manufacturer as speculative or theoretical effects, but as actual ones. They consider this such a well-established fact that it requires no statement of qualification.

Similarly, as I document in my book, Syntex and Wyeth, the other two major pill-manufacturers, say essentially the same thing about their oral contraceptives.

The inserts packaged with birth control pills are condensed versions of longer research papers detailing the Pill’s effects, mechanisms, and risks. Near the end, the insert typically says something like the following, which is taken directly from the Desogen pill insert:

If you want more information about birth control pills, ask your doctor, clinic or pharmacist. They have a more technical leaflet called the Professional Labeling, which you may wish to read. The Professional Labeling is also published in a book entitled Physician’s Desk Reference, available in many bookstores and public libraries.

Of the half dozen birth control pill package inserts I’ve read, only one included the information about the Pill’s abortive mechanism. This was a package insert dated July 12, 1994, found in the oral contraceptive Demulen, manufactured by Searle. Yet this abortive mechanism was referred to in all cases in the FDA-required manufacturer’s Professional Labeling, as documented in The Physician’s Desk Reference.

In summary, according to multiple references throughout The Physician’s Desk Reference, which articulate the research findings of all the birth control pill manufacturers, there are not one but three mechanisms of birth control pills:

1.      inhibiting ovulation (the primary mechanism),

2.      thickening the cervical mucus, thereby making it more difficult for sperm to travel to the egg, and

3.      thinning and shriveling the lining of the uterus to the point that it is unable or less able to facilitate the implantation of the newly fertilized egg.

The first two mechanisms are contraceptive. The third is abortive.

When a woman taking the Pill discovers she is pregnant (according to The Physician’s Desk Reference’s efficacy rate tables, this is 3 percent of pill-takerseach year), it means that all three of these mechanisms have failed. The third mechanism sometimes fails in its role as backup, just as the first and second mechanisms sometimes fail. Each and every time the third mechanism succeeds, however, it causes an abortion.

Medical Journals and Textbooks

In an article in the research journal Contraception, Drs. Chowdhury, Joshi and associates state, “The data suggests that though missing of the low-dose combination pills may result in ‘escape’ ovulation in some women, however, the pharmacological effects of pills on the endometrium and cervical mucus may continue to provide them contraceptive protection.”[7]

Note in some citations “contraceptive” is used to refer to an agent which in fact prevents the implantation of an already conceived child. Those who believe each human life begins at conception would see this function not as a contraceptive, but an abortifacient.

Reproductive endocrinologists have demonstrated that Pill-induced changes cause the endometrium to appear “hostile” or “poorly receptive” to implantation.[8] Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) reveals that the endometrial lining of Pill users is consistently thinner than that of nonusers[9]—up to 58 percent thinner.[10] Recent and fairly sophisticated ultrasound studies[11] have all concluded that endometrial thickness is related to the “functional receptivity” of the endometrium. Others have shown that when the lining of the uterus becomes too thin, implantation of the pre-born child (called the blastocyst or pre-embryo at this stage) does not occur.[12]

The minimal endometrial thickness required to maintain a pregnancy ranges from 5 to 13mm,[13] whereas the average endometrial thickness in women on the Pill is only 1.1 mm.[14] These data lend credence to the FDA-approved statement that “changes in the endometrium reduce the likelihood of implantation.”[15]

Dr. Kristine Severyn says:

The third effect of combined oral contraceptives is to alter the endometrium in such a way that implantation of the fertilized egg (new life) is made more difficult, if not impossible. In effect, the endometrium becomes atrophic and unable to support implantation of the fertilized egg.... The alteration of the endometrium, making it hostile to implantation by the fertilized egg, provides a backup abortifacient method to prevent pregnancy.[16]

Researchers have repeatedly and consistently pointed out this abortifacient effect of the Pill. To date, no published studies have refuted these findings.

Dr. Walter Larimore is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine who has written over 150 medical articles in a wide variety of journals. In two major medical journal articles, he has addressed the issue of the Pill’s capacity to cause early abortions.[17] In 2000 Dr. Larimore and I coauthored a chapter on this subject in The Reproduction Revolution: A Christian Appraisal of Sexuality, Reproductive Technologies and the Family.[18] In the same chapter, four Christian physicians present their belief that the Pill does not result in early abortions. We respectfully suggest that their case is not based solidly on the medical evidence. (In February 2001 Dr. Larimore was brought on the staff of Focus on the Family, as a broadcaster and “an ambassador to the public on medical ethics, procedures and practices.”)

What Does This Mean?

As a woman’s menstrual cycle progresses, her endometrium gradually gets richer and thicker in preparation for the arrival and implantation of any newly conceived child. In a natural cycle, unimpeded by the Pill, the endometrium experiences an increase of blood vessels, which allow a greater blood supply to bring oxygen and nutrients to the child. There is also an increase in the endometrium’s stores of glycogen, a sugar that serves as a food source for the blastocyst (child) as soon as he or she implants.

The Pill keeps the woman’s body from creating the most hospitable environment for a child, resulting instead in an endometrium that is deficient in both food (glycogen) and oxygen. The child may die because he lacks this nutrition and oxygen.

Typically, the new person attempts to implant at six days after conception. If implantation is unsuccessful, the child is flushed out of the womb in a miscarriage. When the miscarriage is the result of an environment created by a foreign device or chemical, it is in fact an abortion. This is true even if the mother does not intend it, and is not aware of it happening.

Despite all the research, including much more presented in my full booklet, there are those who insist that these contentions are incorrect and should not be taken at face value by those concerned about early abortions. In the case of the Pill manufacturers, those who say their FDA-approved assertions are false should, in my opinion, prevail upon the FDA to change their statements, and not simply ask people to disregard them.

Confirming Evidence

When the Pill thins the endometrium, it seems self-evident a zygote attempting to implant has a smaller likelihood of survival. A woman taking the Pill puts any conceived child at greater risk of being aborted than if the Pill were not being taken.

Some argue that this evidence is indirect and theoretical. But we must ask, if this is a theory, how strong and credible is the theory? If the evidence is only indirect, how compelling is that indirect evidence? Once it was only a theory that plant life grows better in rich, fertile soil than in thin, eroded soil. But it was certainly a theory good farmers believed and acted on.

Some physicians have theorized that when ovulation occurs in Pill-takers, the subsequent hormone production “turns on” the endometrium, causing it to become receptive to implantation.[19] However, there is no direct evidence to support this theory, and there is at least some evidence against it. First, after a woman stops taking the Pill, it usually takes several cycles for her menstrual flow to increase to the volume of women who are not on the Pill. This suggests to most objective researchers that the endometrium is slow to recover from its Pill-induced thinning.[20] Second, the one study that has looked at women who have ovulated on the Pill showed that after ovulation the endometrium is not receptive to implantation.[21]

Arguments Against the Pill Causing Abortion

I have received a number of letters from readers, one of them a physician, who say something like this: “My sister got pregnant while taking the Pill. This is proof that you are wrong in saying that the Pill causes abortions—obviously it couldn’t have, since she had her baby!”

Without a doubt, the Pill’s effects on the endometrium do not always make implantation impossible. I have never heard anyone claim that they do. To be an abortifacient does not require that something always cause an abortion, only that it sometimes does.

Whether it’s RU-486, Norplant, Depo-Provera, the morning after pill, the Mini-pill, or the Pill, there is no chemical that always causes an abortion. There are only those that do so never, sometimes, often, and usually.

Children who play on the freeway, climb on the roof, or are left alone by swimming pools don’t always die, but this does not prove these practices are safe and never result in fatalities. We would immediately see this inconsistency of anyone who argued in favor of leaving children alone by swimming pools because they know of cases where this has been done without harm to the children. The point that the Pill doesn’t always prevent implantation is certainly true, but has no bearing on the question of whether it sometimes prevents implantation, which the data clearly suggests.

People also often argue, “The blastocyst is perfectly capable of implanting in various ‘hostile’ sites, e.g., the fallopian tube, the ovary, the peritoneum.”

Their point is that the child sometimes implants in the wrong place. This is undeniably true. But again, the only relevant question is whether the Pill sometimes hinders the child’s ability to implant in the right place.

Imagine a farmer who has two places where he might plant seed. One is rich, brown soil that has been tilled, fertilized, and watered. The other is on hard, thin, dry, and rocky soil. If the farmer wants as much seed as possible to take hold and grow, where will he plant the seed? The answer is obvious--on the fertile ground.

Now, you could say to the farmer that his preference for the rich, tilled, moist soil is based on theoretical assumptions because he has probably never seen a scientific study that proves this soil is more hospitable to seed than the thin, hard, dry soil. Likely, such a study has never been done. In other words, there is no absolute proof.

But the farmer would likely reply, based on years of observation, “I know good soil when I see it. Sure, I’ve seen some plants grow in the hard, thin soil too, but the chances of survival are much less there than in the good soil. Call it theoretical if you want to, but we all know it’s true!”

Some newly conceived children manage to survive temporarily in hostile places. But this in no way changes the obvious fact that many more children will survive in a richer, thicker, more hospitable endometrium than in a thinner, more inhospitable one.

(In other publications and in a much more detailed fashion, we have discussed these and other lines of evidence, with hundreds of citations of many scientific studies, as well as researchers and experts in numerous fields. We encourage interested readers to look more deeply into these studies and arguments. [22])

Despite this evidence, some prolife physicians state that the likelihood of the Pill having an abortifacient effect is “infinitesimally low, or nonexistent.”[23] Though I would very much like to believe this, the scientific evidence does not permit me to do so.

Dr. Walt Larimore has told me that whenever he has presented this evidence to audiences of secular physicians, there has been little or no resistance to it. But when he has presented it to Christian physicians there has been substantial resistance. Since secular physicians do not care whether the Pill prevents implantation, they tend to be objective in interpreting the evidence. After all, they have little or nothing at stake either way. Christian physicians, however, very much do not want to believe the Pill causes early abortions. Therefore, I believe, they tend to resist the evidence. This is certainly understandable. Nonetheless, we should not permit what we want to believe to distract us from what the evidence indicates we should believe.

I have mentioned my own vested interests in the Pill that at first made me resist the evidence suggesting it could cause abortions. Dr. Larimore came to this issue with even greater vested interests in believing the best about the birth control pill, having prescribed it for years. When he researched it intensively over an eighteen-month period, in what he described to me as a “gut wrenching” process that involved sleepless nights, he came to the conclusion that in good conscience he could no longer prescribe hormonal contraceptives, including the Pill, the Minipill, Depo-Provera, and Norplant.

Conclusion

The Pill is used by about fourteen million American women each year and sixty million women internationally. Thus, even an infinitesimally low portion (say one-hundredth of one percent) of 780 million Pill cycles per year globally could represent tens of thousands of unborn children lost to this form of chemical abortion annually. How many young lives have to be jeopardized for prolife believers to question the ethics of using the Pill? This is an issue with profound moral implications for those believing we are called to protect the lives of children.

This article is a very abridged version of one that appears in Appendix E of Randy Alcorn’s book, ProLife Answers to ProChoice Arguments and has been reprinted with permission. While the basic argument is stated here, much of the documented evidence has been left out due to space constrictions. An even more thorough treatment (with 139 footnotes) of this subject can be found in Randy Alcorn’s 197 page book, Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? For more information, see http://www.epm.org/ or contact EPM at info@epm.org or 503-668-5200

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This is the very reason that even when I am married, I will not use any form of chemical birth control. Some may call that extreme, but I am not willing to play "Russian roulette" with my baby, never knowing if I caused my body to abort my child or not. Life or death is not an issue to consider lightly. My goal with this post is simply to get the word out about what the birth control pill actually does, praying that as more women learn about this truth, they will choose to say "no" to the pill.

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Why I deleted my Snapchat.

This whole Snapchat fad was a cute one for a while. It was fun for my friends and I to send stupid pictures to each other of ridiculous faces. The reason why it was so fun? Because the pictures weren’t permanent. I could send the most hideous pictures to my friends, eliciting a laugh on their end, but the rest of the world never have to know.

That is so dangerous.

OK, so maybe not for those funny face pictures that I was sending to my crazy friends, but how many others have enjoyed the accountability-free feature of Snapchat, allowing them to send whatever pictures they want with no one ever finding out? How many guys have been Snapchatting pretty girls with smiling or goofy faces, only for it to slowly turn into pictures of the rest of their bodies… maybe a little more inviting than before?

And why not? I mean, it’s not like anyone else will ever know… no one can pick up a man’s phone and see the saved photos of scantily clad women since the pictures weren’t sent via text, email, or Facebook… no, they were all on Snapchat, where they were viewed for 10 seconds (MORE than long enough for the image to be stored in the never-ending photo album of a man’s brain, filed away under “pleasure”).

Snapchat has easily become one of the easiest ways to view sexual images and never have anyone hold you accountable for what images you are actually viewing, and when you’re not accountable, your flesh can easily lead your heart down a path that the Spirit would never want you venturing on to begin with.

Maybe the pictures that those girls are sending aren’t naked pictures… maybe they’re pictures where you can see a little more of her chest than you need to, or the “I just worked out at the gym” pics where she’s wearing yoga pants and a sports bra and (maybe) a tank top, with no sweat and a face-full of makeup still because she actually snapped the pic in the mirror before she ever hopped on the treadmill or picked up weights, all to ensure that she looks good for her viewer.

So no, I am not claiming that everyone who has a Snapchat account has been essentially viewing porn… but I just realized that it is a very likely thing to be occurring, that no one would ever have to admit to it because they won’t be caught, and that I will never validly be able to say that Snapchat is a dangerous thing if I continued to have one myself. Maybe Snapchat isn’t doing any harm for you or for those whom you send images to… but is it actually doing any good? I am not at all claiming that it is wrong for you to send pictures to your friends, but if they are truly appropriate pictures then there should be no reason why they cannot be sent using another source that also enables you to have some sort of accountability because the images are permanent.

Scripture says that as believers, we are to live above reproach. You may think that I’m crazy and that I’m being too extreme, but I’ll tell you something, I’ll gladly be viewed as “weird” by the world if it means that I am pleasing my Father.

The [ugly] Truth turned beautiful

Let me begin with confession. Most people think that I am a very confident person. This is true, to a certain extent. You see, I am confident in who I am, but I have never been confident in what I look like.
I think the reason for this is that I know that if there is any fruit which I am lacking, the Spirit will continue to grow those buds, cultivating my heart to be more like Jesus. I know this because of the promise of Philippians 1:6- "He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion in the day of Christ Jesus." The Bible says that He has "appointed [me] that [I] should go and bear fruit and that [my] fruit should abide" (John 15:16), so I guess I have just never been worried about that part of me. Sure, there are things about my character that I wish were different, but they are things that I recognize as sin and I beg the Spirit to replace them with goodness, which He does.

But what I've been hung up on is that the Spirit doesn't change how I look, and that was just the ugly truth. No matter how many times I ask for a smaller waist, longer legs, or a nose that doesn't stick straight up in the air, the Spirit does not do plastic surgery.

Why?

Why will God change other parts of me but not this one? That was the question that I struggled with, because God always has a reason.

His reason for changing my behavior? For me to love like Jesus.
His reason for changing the way that I speak? For me to speak like Jesus.
His reason for changing the way that I think? For me to think like Jesus.

I could go on for days...

All of the things that He has changed about me have had a reason for the change, and all of those reasons come back to Jesus. So then I asked Him, "Why do I look this way? You must have a reason."

And God said:
Daughter, you are "fearfully and wonderfully made... all of [my] works are wonderful" (Psalm 139). I "desire your beauty" (Psalm 45:11).

But even after hearing those sweet, sweet Truths from my Father, I was still feeling a little twinge in my heart. What it comes down to is that I believe that my Father views me, His creation, as beautiful... but I don't believe that men do. THAT was a hard for me to admit. I didn't realize it, but I have actually been esteeming man's opinion of my appearance as having greater merit than my Creator's.

I had a hard time figuring out the root of this. I begged the Spirit to reveal it to me so that it could be dug up. I asked Him, "Why in the world do I care so much about what men think of me?! God Almighty has declared me beautiful!"

And then it occurred to me... I can't remember a time whenever my dad has ever told me that he thinks that I am beautiful.

My dad left my family when I was 14, which was right around the time whenever the guys at school were beginning to comment on how they thought the girls around me looked. I was never the girl that they called pretty. Sure, it bothered me then, but I didn't think it was anything more than what the typical teenage girl felt... like everyone else was prettier. This thought process carried on over into my college years and now into my adult life, as I am still not the woman that men call beautiful.

It wasn't until just a few days ago that I realized just how important the affirmation of a father is in a girl's life. I didn't know the impact that the lack of affirmation from my dad has had on my heart. I didn't know that because my dad never called me beautiful that my depraved mind translated that into believing that no man thinks that I am beautiful.

As you can imagine, this has been a painful process for me. And it still is. I am not angry with my dad and I do not feel any bitterness towards him; I do wish that things had been different, but I refuse to dwell in the past. I am thankful that the Spirit has shown me the root of my struggle so that I can actually fight against the lies that I did not even know that I was believing before. But it's hard, and I need help. That's why I am so thankful for the Spirit! And I am thankful that Jesus knows exactly how I feel and is interceding for me. And I am thankful that the Father has given me His Word.

If there are any fathers who are reading this, please, tell your daughters that they are beautiful. The absence of those words truly does have a life-long impact on a woman's heart.

I wish that I could say things are "all better" now, that I am fully confident and that this is no longer a struggle, but I can't. What I can say is that I am gazing on the face of my beloved Creator and praying for the Spirit to allow the beautiful Truth of the words of my Father to take precedence in my heart above the words of man.

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Cultivating Intimacy

I know that to some this post might sound like white noise... just the typical "it's a relationship, not a religion" thing that Christians always seem to preach but then later forget the truth of those words when their lives get busy.

I, myself, am so guilty of this way of living. The purpose of this blog isn't for me to tell you that you should have a deep relationship with Jesus because more than likely you've heard that a thousand times. But the problem is, no one ever talks about HOW to cultivate that intimacy with Jesus. Sure, you're told to read your Bible and to pray, but no one ever says where to start in Scripture. They may suggest a shorter book of the Bible, like James or Philippians, for you to get a jump-start on your reading... ya know, just a little push to get you to want more later. And for some, that may work very well because the Holy Spirit did inspire the Words in Scripture and will certainly make them living and active in your life!

But for me, I didn't even have a desire to want to read those Words. I had to just start with God.

What I mean by starting with God is that I needed to know His character... Who He is, what makes Him tick, what He loves, what He hates, how He communicates, what He likes to do. That may sound funny to you- that I would use the same questions to get to know Him that I would use to get to know a new acquaintance- but that's just it... I wanted to have a real relationship with Him and I could think of no better way to do that than by playing "20 questions," if you will haha.

God said to Moses in Exodus 3:14, "I AM WHO I AM."

What in the world does that mean?! I mean, if I asked someone who I had just met who they were and their reply to me was, "I am who I am," that would tell me nothing about who they are.

But when God said, "I AM WHO I AM," what He was saying is that He is the One by Whom all things are defined.

To say that someone is kind, compassionate, selfless, beautiful... all of those characteristics are reflections of God's image, not that person. He is the definition of kindness, compassion, selflessness, beauty... if He were not the standard, then those descriptions would hold no merit.

I wanted to know more of this great God, Who is the standard by which all is judged! I wanted to know everything that I could know about Him. Much like the feeling that you have when someone special has caught your eye- you just want to know all about him and you can't get enough! That's how I began to feel, only multiply that feeling by infinity.

I started with Genesis (seemed appropriate...) and read in chapter 1 verse 27 how God created man and woman in His image. Already, I needed explanation since God is referred to with the pronoun "He," denoting masculinity, I wanted to know how His image is to be seen in femininity. God is described all throughout Scripture as having both male and female characteristics:

"And in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place" (Deut. 1:31).

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I (God) will not forget you" (Is. 49:15). 

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him" (Matt. 7:11).

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I (God) have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing" (Lk. 13:34).

Jesus, as a man, did not allow His gender to define a hard set of rules for what His characteristics could be! Yes, He was a leader and he flipped tables and He is depicted in Revelation as a Warrior riding in for battle... but He also cared for children and He provided food for people and He cried. Beautiful!

I also looked at some of the different names of God to learn more about Who He is.

Jehovah-Jireh (God, My Provider)

Jehovah-Rapha (God, My Healer)

Jehovah-Tsidkenu (God, Our Righteousness)

El Roi (The God Who Sees)

Jehovah-Shammah (God, Who Is There)

Those names in and of themselves gave me a much clearer picture of Who God is! But there's more... SO much more!

God is all-powerful (Jeremiah 32:17), able to protect (Psalm 18), all-knowing (1 John 3:19-20), and never-changing (Hebrews 13:8).

And now here's the most exciting part... I have only just hit the tip of the iceberg of God's character. I could literally learn more about Him every second of every day and STILL be so far from knowing all of Him! THIS is what has made me want to read the Word... knowing that He is too vast to comprehend but yet He still wants to talk to me is surreal, so I'm soaking up every conversation with Him and feasting on the Bread of Life.

Knowing Jesus is an endless frontier of incredible possibilty and daring adventure.

May you never stop exploring.

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Questioning God

Sometimes, I just have questions.

For so long, I thought that it was such a bad thing to question God... that if for one second I began to doubt Truth, that meant I was a "bad Christian" and that I didn't fully trust God. My solution to that problem was to study the heck out of whatever it was that I didn't understand. I would read books upon books, listen to sermons by various big name pastors (because it wasn't enough for me to listen to just anybody... it always had to be Piper, Chandler, Platt, Spurgeon, Sproul, Ferguson, etc.), and sure, I would read Scripture, but it would be out of my Reformation study Bible so that I could read the notes from other pastors.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do not mean to speak negatively of these men of God who are living out an incredibly high calling for the sake of Christ's name and His Good News being made famous. These men study the Word, preach it, counsel others, and even develop resources to help others study the Word (ie: study Bibles). However, my problem has been that they are the ones I go to with my questions, not God.

I somehow got the idea in my head that in order for me to "know God," I had to have Him all figured out. Actually, let me even correct that statement and say that it wasn't so much HIM that I wanted to know, but rather doctrine. Theology. Law. 
I wanted to know and understand these things and then apply them to my life and situations. In my mind, theology and Jesus were equated and so for me to study theological principles meant that I was actually growing closer to Christ.

Oh, how wrong I was!

Again, let me be careful to stress that I am not against theological studies at all... in fact, I encourage it! BUT when studying principles becomes more important than knowing the heart of God, there's a problem.

Currently, I have a lot of questions about God's character and His heart. There are things that are said in Scripture that I cannot seem to reconcile with the character of God that I know. What I am learning is to ask the Spirit to renew my mind in order that I might be prepared to actually hear from God what He says is True. 

You see, I am confident that all of my theological studies will be useful in ministry and I am grateful that the Father has created me with a mind that longs to know and understand things fully. However, I am asking Him to weed out what does not need to be there. Much of the knowledge that I possess is actually human opinion that I have stored away from books or sermons, so I want what I hold tight to to be rooted in Scripture alone. I want the Spirit to move me to take my questions to the throne of God and allow HIM to answer them if He so chooses.

What I am learning is that in order for this to happen, I should be spending time with Jesus and learning about His heart. So many of my theological questions can be answered simply by looking at God's character and answering from that! Because really, if we study things separated from God's character, strictly focusing on hard and fast rules, how can we expect our "results" to be anything more than man's logic? Is it not possible that God is too vast for us to comprehend on this side of Heaven?!

I have asked the Spirit to help me filter out all of my so-called "knowledge" and to leave only what is from His heart. 

"For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6).

How clear is THAT?!

This is a hard thing for me to accept though. I like to be in control. I like to know everything. For me to relinquish control is giving way to so many insecurities... insecurities that I tried to cover with intelligence. But the thing is, it's OKAY if I don't know everything! HA! Amazing. To those of you who have tried to tell me that for the past few years, I sincerely apologize that my prideful flesh responded by saying, "No it's not! I NEED to know this stuff! I just need to study more..." and then looked down on you for not doing the same. 

I am actually quite comforted by knowing that I can't know everything. If I could, that would make me God, right? Isn't this very thought exactly how Satan tempted Eve in the garden when he said: 

"You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of [the fruit] your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:4).

I, like Eve, believed the serpent, only my fruit was theology. I bit off large chunks and became fat with false promises of the enemy that I could actually obtain answers to all of life's questions on my own. 

I still have questions. But the difference is that now I do not try to figure everything out and then go to God saying, "I get it... makes sense because I can explain it." Instead, I am learning to admit that I don't know it all and be okay with that, and then to trust that God is God and to just keep getting to know His beautiful heart.


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The Battle for the Renewed Mind

May I just be honest about what I am struggling with right now? Well, it’s not just right now… it’s really all of the time!

It’s my thoughts.

They ensnare me and I am left dangling, seemingly helpless, waiting for my enemy to finish the job.

I fear that God is not who He says He is… I forget that I have been made righteous because of Jesus and that I am now the daughter of the King… I feel alone and unwanted by anyone, desolate…

The list goes on.

And with every one of those thoughts, those lies, roots are dug down deeper into my heart, threatening to keep me tied down—trapped—until my mind is filled only with lies. Every fruit blossom ever to have budded in my heart is choked by these roots and withers up into nothing.

Sometimes the thoughts aren't negative, though. Sometimes I daydream about a handsome man who pursues and saves me, the damsel in distress, and then we build a forever together in a little home in the middle of nowhere. We sit on the porch in our rocking chairs and drink sweet tea out of mason jars while watching our kids run around in the yard, dig in the dirt, and live out their own little adventurous fantasies. I look over and smile at him and the look in his eyes makes me weak in the knees, because it whispers, “I love you more today than when we said our vows.”

But as beautiful as that picture is, thoughts of it can also be a deadly poison, disguised as a sweet nectar. You see, these sweet thoughts can become an idol in my heart, and an idol is someone or something that makes false promises of satisfaction and fulfillment… lies. Now, I am not saying that every single daydream that you have is bad… we were designed to desire beauty, especially in relationships. But when those daydreams become more desirable than Jesus, that’s when they are a problem.

These thoughts far too often occupy my consciousness and keep me from focusing on where God has me right now. I become discontent, and discontentment leads me to those more obvious deadly thoughts that I mentioned earlier. So what is there for me to do?

Fight.

Romans 12:2 is a charge to believers. It states to “not be conformed to this world, but BE transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” When I first read that I was thinking, “How in the world is my mind supposed to be renewed? Clearly ‘be’ is a verb, but how do I allow it to take action in my life?” I knew that I needed to be actively doing something to fight, I just didn't know what to do or how to do it. So, I had to use a little bit of deductive reasoning.

What is the battle that I am fighting? Being trapped by lies.
What defeats lies? Truth.
What is Truth? The Word of God.
What is the Word of God? The sword of the Spirit.
What do you use a sword for? To fight.
What kind of person fights? A warrior.

Every believer is in a war of the mind, and we all must fight! In fact, it is essential that we do, lest we be fools.

"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26), "for the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6).

Claiming my identity as a Warrior Princess for the Kingdom of God was strange at first... but ya know, I can't let the men have all the fun ;)

 ***Side note: Ladies, we have to give up the idea that battling is only for men; women can carry swords too AND learn to fight with them!***

I began with making a list of the typical lies that I believe and then, I found Truth to combat them (I like to call the verses my "sword swings" that I use to sever the lies that have taken root in my heart so that I am no longer bound by them).

Now here's the hard part... I have to actually remember those verses whenever my mind is under attack, or whenever my heart begins to long for a husband more than Jesus.

Oh, and under attack is right! My mind is constantly under siege "for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). But I have the power to defeat the lies of my flesh and the enemy because "the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds" and I have been commanded to "take every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5).

God designed our brains in such a way that our neurons have memory and they remember the typical thought pathways that we carve for ourselves. BUT GOD also gave us sword swings, enabling us to re-route those pathways of lies to Truth! How amazing is that?!

I absolutely LOVE how my Commander in Chief gives me such hope! He tells me that not only can I fight, but I can fight well... well enough to be free from all of the traps set before me because I know the Truth (John 8:32)! For this I am grateful: Truth does not change based off of my thoughts and feelings.

We can all have the confidence to step out onto the battlefield, claiming the territory for the Kingdom because of THIS sword swing:

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).

PRAISE THE LORD!!! He has prepared us, armed us, girded us with strength, is renewing our minds... and now we must fight the good fight.

So, dear brothers and sisters, "be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong" (1 Corinthians 16:13).

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Faith and Obedience

I have been doing a lot of thinking about faith and obedience lately. 

The reason? 

Because I have been trying to figure out what it is that keeps me from being obedient to what the Lord has called me to do. No matter if it's as small as "Talk to Me, Linzy," or as big as "Go to ____," I seem to have trouble with just immediately obeying. And let me confess why...

I doubt.

I doubt if it is really the Lord telling me to do something or if it just my flesh or the enemy;
I doubt if what the Lord is telling me is really the best way to do things; 
I doubt that He has His sovereign plan and that there is nothing to worry about; 
I doubt that He has gone before me and prepared the way.

What made me realize this was reading in Hebrews, which then took me all the way back to Genesis to read the complete story of Abraham.

You see, in Genesis 15, God establishes His covenant with Abram to make him a father of nations even though Abram and his wife, Sarai, had no offspring. God said to Abram, "Your very own son shall be your heir...look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them...so shall your offspring be." And [Abram] believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness (v. 4-6).

Upon the Lord making this promise to him, Abram cut the animals in half that the Lord told him to bring and then the Lord caused a deep sleep to come upon Abram. It was the custom of that day for the two people who were making a binding agreement with one another to walk through the pieces of the animals together, which was making the statement "If I do not hold to my end of the deal, then let what has happened to these animals happen to me." 

But the amazing part about THIS covenant was that it was one sided. Only God walked through those animal pieces while Abram was in a deep sleep because God knew that only He can uphold the covenant, and for all of the times in the future that Abram or his offspring would disobey, God would have to be the one to pay for it because He was the only one who made that covenant.  

For when God made a promise to Abraham, since He had no one greater by whom to swear, He swore by Himself, saying, “Surely I will bless you and multiply you” (Hebrews 6:13-14).

Hence, Jesus!!! 

God had to come to earth and atone for the sins of all of us who would have never been able to walk through those animal pieces with the Lord God Almighty because in so doing, our death would have ensued.

So, now that we understand just how big of a deal this covenant is, meaning that God could never go back on His Word which would go against His very character, let's continue with Abram's story.

In chapter 16, we see that Abram and his wife doubted that God was going to fulfill His promise to them by giving them a son, so they tried to take things into their own hands. Abram slept with his wife's servant and she bore him a son, but this is not the son that the Lord God had promised to Abram.

So still, at this point, Abram and Sarai have not conceived, but in chapter 17, God changes Abram's name to Abraham, which means "father of a multitude" and changes Sarai's name to Sarah, and then tells them that in a year, Sarah would give birth to the promised son, Isaac. 

Fast-forward a bit to chapter 21 and we see that Isaac was born... and then in chapter 22, we see that God asks Abraham to sacrifice his promised son.

After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him (Genesis 22:1-3).

WHAT?! God told Abraham to sacrifice the very son that He had promised to him, to make him a father of nations... and Abraham just got up, and went to do it. He just obeyed!

This is the part that always stumped me. Isaac was Abraham's son and I could not understand how in the world a father could just say, "Okay, God! I'll go kill my son because You told me to."

And HERE is where Hebrews comes in again!!! (I can hardly contain my excitement about this Truth!!!)

By FAITH Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back (Hebrews 11:17-19).

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Abraham had so much faith in God and His promises (which are inseparable because God's character is Truth) that he obeyed and took his promised son to the altar, ready to sacrifice him, trusting that if the Lord wanted him to actually kill his son, then GOD WOULD RAISE HIM FROM THE DEAD in order to still be upholding His covenant!!!

This unyielding obedience that we see in Abraham was rooted in his absolute faith in God. 

Oh, I am so guilty of not having faith! Sure, I say that I trust God and that I know that He is sovereign, but does my heart actually believe that? Because if it did, would I not have the same unyielding response as Abraham instead of doubting?

Wow. Pride check! I begin to shy away from the Lord after reading all of this because I am so ashamed.

But then, sweet, sweet Jesus draws me back in.

"Keep reading my Word," He says. So, I do.

But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided" (Genesis 22:11-14).

That ram is Jesus!

For all of the times that I have doubted if it is really the Lord telling me to do something or if it just my flesh or the enemy... 
JESUS has atoned for my doubt!
For all of the times that I have doubted if what the Lord is telling me is really the best way to do things... 
JESUS has atoned for my doubt!
For all of the times that I have doubted that He has His sovereign plan and that there is nothing to worry about... 
JESUS has atoned for my doubt!
For all of the times that I have doubted that He has gone before me and prepared the way... 
JESUS has atoned for my doubt!

For all of the times that I have doubted and not had faith... JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!

I am left praying for more grace to have faith, that I may obey my Lord without question.

I encourage you to go read Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter," as many know it to be called, and see how each person mentioned who had faith ACTED... and then pray for the Spirit to move in your heart to be active, not passive; obedient, not doubtful.

Words.

Words.

We use them every day. We think words, hear words, speak words, sing words, write words, and read words. We use words to communicate joy, anger, confusion, love.

Words are so important, so valued, that our Creator used words to create. He could have thought "let there be light" and there still would have been light. 

But He didn't. 

He spoke, and that is how the world came into existence. 

In Genesis chapter 1,the phrase "And God SAID" is repeated nine times as He is creating. And then this is where my mind gets blown, EVERY time... God created EVERYTHING through Jesus.

Let me explain. John 1:1-3 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that has been made." 

Let's replace each occurrence of "the Word" and all of the pronouns with "Jesus," of Whom these are referring to, and see if that ties all of this together.

"In the beginning was Jesus, and Jesus was with God, and Jesus was God. Jesus was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Jesus, and without Jesus nothing was made that has been made."

Then Satan slithers onto the scene and with him the pending Fall of man. 
What is the first thing that Satan does? He speaks. 
And his wicked words are in fact designed in such a way to call into question the very words of God Himself.

Oh, but wait... God doesn't stop there with the power of the Word. No, He then goes on to allow His Spirit to breathe words into various authors who wrote down the words of God, which we have now come to know as the Bible. 
And the Bible isn't just "some book." No, it is a story! The complete story of Redemption, to be exact.

John 1:14 says this, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." 
Who was it that became flesh and dwelt among us? Jesus. 
So then we have, "And Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us."

Wow.

God actually gave us His Word. Both in written form and in the flesh
to inspire and to atone; 
to encourage and to redeem;
to challenge and to sanctify;
to convict and to love.

Justin Taylor, in the book The Power of Words and the Wonder of God writes this:

When God's Son eventually enters human history as the God-man, He lives by God's Word (Luke 4:4), keeps God's Word (John 8:55), and preaches God's Word (Mark 2:2). The Father gave Jesus words, Jesus gave them to His followers, and His followers received them (John 17:8). Jesus' words are inseparable from His person and thus can be identified as having divine attributes.

What I'm getting at is this: words are powerful. The way that we speak can bring both life or death (Proverbs 18:21). 

As I have been studying about the Word and writing this, I have been so convicted of my own poor use of words; I have used words of anger, malice, slander, jealousy, pride, gossip, judgment, and condemnation. The Word has rebuked me and reminded me to listen before I speak (James 1:19), because my rash words are like a sword swing (Proverbs 12:18).

But the amazing part is this: while I have just been rebuked by the Word, He has also reminded me that the Word has already atoned for all of my wicked words.

WHAT?!

That right there is proof that God's words create, confront, convict, correct, and comfort. By His words He both interprets and instructs.

At every single stage in Redemptive history--from the time before time even began, to when God created the universe, to the fall of man, to Christ's birth and redemptive work on the cross, and to the coming consummation--God is there and He is not silent. And He has left us His Word to fight the battle that we face every day to believe the lies of both our flesh and the enemy that, once again, tell us we don't need God. That is why the Word is also called the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17); because we are meant to fight with it!

I am praying for you, whoever you are, and I am praying for myself 
that we will readily recognize the war of words that we are facing.
that our words will bring life, just as God's words have done and continue to do. 
that we will speak words of encouragement, hope, love, peace, unity, instruction, wisdom, and grace.
that above all, we will cherish the One True Word, and then hide His words in our hearts.

Would you pray with me?