This whole Snapchat fad was a cute one for a while. It was fun for my friends and I to send stupid pictures to each other of ridiculous faces. The reason why it was so fun? Because the pictures weren’t permanent. I could send the most hideous pictures to my friends, eliciting a laugh on their end, but the rest of the world never have to know.
That is so dangerous.
OK, so maybe not for those funny face pictures that I was sending to my crazy friends, but how many others have enjoyed the accountability-free feature of Snapchat, allowing them to send whatever pictures they want with no one ever finding out? How many guys have been Snapchatting pretty girls with smiling or goofy faces, only for it to slowly turn into pictures of the rest of their bodies… maybe a little more inviting than before?
And why not? I mean, it’s not like anyone else will ever know… no one can pick up a man’s phone and see the saved photos of scantily clad women since the pictures weren’t sent via text, email, or Facebook… no, they were all on Snapchat, where they were viewed for 10 seconds (MORE than long enough for the image to be stored in the never-ending photo album of a man’s brain, filed away under “pleasure”).
Snapchat has easily become one of the easiest ways to view sexual images and never have anyone hold you accountable for what images you are actually viewing, and when you’re not accountable, your flesh can easily lead your heart down a path that the Spirit would never want you venturing on to begin with.
Maybe the pictures that those girls are sending aren’t naked pictures… maybe they’re pictures where you can see a little more of her chest than you need to, or the “I just worked out at the gym” pics where she’s wearing yoga pants and a sports bra and (maybe) a tank top, with no sweat and a face-full of makeup still because she actually snapped the pic in the mirror before she ever hopped on the treadmill or picked up weights, all to ensure that she looks good for her viewer.
So no, I am not claiming that everyone who has a Snapchat account has been essentially viewing porn… but I just realized that it is a very likely thing to be occurring, that no one would ever have to admit to it because they won’t be caught, and that I will never validly be able to say that Snapchat is a dangerous thing if I continued to have one myself. Maybe Snapchat isn’t doing any harm for you or for those whom you send images to… but is it actually doing any good? I am not at all claiming that it is wrong for you to send pictures to your friends, but if they are truly appropriate pictures then there should be no reason why they cannot be sent using another source that also enables you to have some sort of accountability because the images are permanent.
Scripture says that as believers, we are to live above reproach. You may think that I’m crazy and that I’m being too extreme, but I’ll tell you something, I’ll gladly be viewed as “weird” by the world if it means that I am pleasing my Father.
Let me begin with confession. Most people think that I am a very confident person. This is true, to a certain extent. You see, I am confident in who I am, but I have never been confident in what I look like.
I think the reason for this is that I know that if there is any fruit which I am lacking, the Spirit will continue to grow those buds, cultivating my heart to be more like Jesus. I know this because of the promise of Philippians 1:6- "He who began a good work in you will carry it out to completion in the day of Christ Jesus." The Bible says that He has "appointed [me] that [I] should go and bear fruit and that [my] fruit should abide" (John 15:16), so I guess I have just never been worried about that part of me. Sure, there are things about my character that I wish were different, but they are things that I recognize as sin and I beg the Spirit to replace them with goodness, which He does.
But what I've been hung up on is that the Spirit doesn't change how I look, and that was just the ugly truth. No matter how many times I ask for a smaller waist, longer legs, or a nose that doesn't stick straight up in the air, the Spirit does not do plastic surgery.
Why?
Why will God change other parts of me but not this one? That was the question that I struggled with, because God always has a reason.
His reason for changing my behavior? For me to love like Jesus.
His reason for changing the way that I speak? For me to speak like Jesus.
His reason for changing the way that I think? For me to think like Jesus.
I could go on for days...
All of the things that He has changed about me have had a reason for the change, and all of those reasons come back to Jesus. So then I asked Him, "Why do I look this way? You must have a reason."
And God said:
Daughter, you are "fearfully and wonderfully made... all of [my] works are wonderful" (Psalm 139). I "desire your beauty" (Psalm 45:11).
But even after hearing those sweet, sweet Truths from my Father, I was still feeling a little twinge in my heart. What it comes down to is that I believe that my Father views me, His creation, as beautiful... but I don't believe that men do. THAT was a hard for me to admit. I didn't realize it, but I have actually been esteeming man's opinion of my appearance as having greater merit than my Creator's.
I had a hard time figuring out the root of this. I begged the Spirit to reveal it to me so that it could be dug up. I asked Him, "Why in the world do I care so much about what men think of me?! God Almighty has declared me beautiful!"
And then it occurred to me... I can't remember a time whenever my dad has ever told me that he thinks that I am beautiful.
My dad left my family when I was 14, which was right around the time whenever the guys at school were beginning to comment on how they thought the girls around me looked. I was never the girl that they called pretty. Sure, it bothered me then, but I didn't think it was anything more than what the typical teenage girl felt... like everyone else was prettier. This thought process carried on over into my college years and now into my adult life, as I am still not the woman that men call beautiful.
It wasn't until just a few days ago that I realized just how important the affirmation of a father is in a girl's life. I didn't know the impact that the lack of affirmation from my dad has had on my heart. I didn't know that because my dad never called me beautiful that my depraved mind translated that into believing that no man thinks that I am beautiful.
As you can imagine, this has been a painful process for me. And it still is. I am not angry with my dad and I do not feel any bitterness towards him; I do wish that things had been different, but I refuse to dwell in the past. I am thankful that the Spirit has shown me the root of my struggle so that I can actually fight against the lies that I did not even know that I was believing before. But it's hard, and I need help. That's why I am so thankful for the Spirit! And I am thankful that Jesus knows exactly how I feel and is interceding for me. And I am thankful that the Father has given me His Word.
If there are any fathers who are reading this, please, tell your daughters that they are beautiful. The absence of those words truly does have a life-long impact on a woman's heart.
I wish that I could say things are "all better" now, that I am fully confident and that this is no longer a struggle, but I can't. What I can say is that I am gazing on the face of my beloved Creator and praying for the Spirit to allow the beautiful Truth of the words of my Father to take precedence in my heart above the words of man.
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I know that to some this post might sound like white noise... just the typical "it's a relationship, not a religion" thing that Christians always seem to preach but then later forget the truth of those words when their lives get busy.
I, myself, am so guilty of this way of living. The purpose of this blog isn't for me to tell you that you should have a deep relationship with Jesus because more than likely you've heard that a thousand times. But the problem is, no one ever talks about HOW to cultivate that intimacy with Jesus. Sure, you're told to read your Bible and to pray, but no one ever says where to start in Scripture. They may suggest a shorter book of the Bible, like James or Philippians, for you to get a jump-start on your reading... ya know, just a little push to get you to want more later. And for some, that may work very well because the Holy Spirit did inspire the Words in Scripture and will certainly make them living and active in your life!
But for me, I didn't even have a desire to want to read those Words. I had to just start with God.
What I mean by starting with God is that I needed to know His character... Who He is, what makes Him tick, what He loves, what He hates, how He communicates, what He likes to do. That may sound funny to you- that I would use the same questions to get to know Him that I would use to get to know a new acquaintance- but that's just it... I wanted to have a real relationship with Him and I could think of no better way to do that than by playing "20 questions," if you will haha.
God said to Moses in Exodus 3:14, "I AM WHO I AM."
What in the world does that mean?! I mean, if I asked someone who I had just met who they were and their reply to me was, "I am who I am," that would tell me nothing about who they are.
But when God said, "I AM WHO I AM," what He was saying is that He is the One by Whom all things are defined.
To say that someone is kind, compassionate, selfless, beautiful... all of those characteristics are reflections of God's image, not that person. He is the definition of kindness, compassion, selflessness, beauty... if He were not the standard, then those descriptions would hold no merit.
I wanted to know more of this great God, Who is the standard by which all is judged! I wanted to know everything that I could know about Him. Much like the feeling that you have when someone special has caught your eye- you just want to know all about him and you can't get enough! That's how I began to feel, only multiply that feeling by infinity.
I started with Genesis (seemed appropriate...) and read in chapter 1 verse 27 how God created man and woman in His image. Already, I needed explanation since God is referred to with the pronoun "He," denoting masculinity, I wanted to know how His image is to be seen in femininity. God is described all throughout Scripture as having both male and female characteristics:
"And in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place" (Deut. 1:31).
"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I (God) will not forget you" (Is. 49:15).
"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him" (Matt. 7:11).
"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I (God) have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing" (Lk. 13:34).
Jesus, as a man, did not allow His gender to define a hard set of rules for what His characteristics could be! Yes, He was a leader and he flipped tables and He is depicted in Revelation as a Warrior riding in for battle... but He also cared for children and He provided food for people and He cried. Beautiful!
I also looked at some of the different names of God to learn more about Who He is.
Jehovah-Jireh (God, My Provider)
Jehovah-Rapha (God, My Healer)
Jehovah-Tsidkenu (God, Our Righteousness)
El Roi (The God Who Sees)
Jehovah-Shammah (God, Who Is There)
Those names in and of themselves gave me a much clearer picture of Who God is! But there's more... SO much more!
God is all-powerful (Jeremiah 32:17), able to protect (Psalm 18), all-knowing (1 John 3:19-20), and never-changing (Hebrews 13:8).
And now here's the most exciting part... I have only just hit the tip of the iceberg of God's character. I could literally learn more about Him every second of every day and STILL be so far from knowing all of Him! THIS is what has made me want to read the Word... knowing that He is too vast to comprehend but yet He still wants to talk to me is surreal, so I'm soaking up every conversation with Him and feasting on the Bread of Life.
Knowing Jesus is an endless frontier of incredible possibilty and daring adventure.
May you never stop exploring.
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