Please stop saying, “Your time will come!” ...and other annoying things that singles don't want to hear.

Married people have often told myself and other singles that we will not get married until we are content in our singleness. 

I would like to humbly submit that this is said in error. 

Let me explain... first, I do want to stress that contentment in Christ is absolutely paramount to having Jesus be Lord in your life and that every believer, regardless of his or her marital status, should be satisfied in Christ alone. Second, I also want to say that I do understand that when married folks share this “bit-o-wisdom” with us single women and men, I know that it is well-intended. 

BUT, if I may, I am suggesting to you that this statement (and viewpoint) actually facilitates a works-based mentality that is more harmful than helpful in most cases. The Spirit doesn’t require us to attain a certain state or “level” before He grants us with any spiritual gift. The “gift” of singleness described in Scripture is the same word— “charisma” —that is used elsewhere in Scripture in reference to the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, discernment, prophecy, marriage, etc. We can’t earn any of these gifts any more than we earn salvation. EVERY gift is all of grace. 

Moreover, none of us are told that we will be given all of these gifts! Right now, I (and others) have the “charisma” of singleness. Perhaps one day we will have the “charisma” of marriage... but perhaps not. It does us no service to hear, “your time will come,” or, “one day... you just wait!” when in fact, no one knows if that is at all in Abba’s good and sovereign will for our lives! Our hope cannot be placed in the possibility of a future marriage. 

We are single today because that is exactly what our Abba has apportioned to us today. 

I am only saying all of this as an encouragement to my married brothers and sisters who are trying to encourage us single brothers and sisters... let’s all direct each other’s eyes to be fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, the One in whom our hope should lie. 

Some practical ways you can love and encourage the singles in your life:

-Pray for them regularly, and let them know that you do! (I hope that you do this for all of your friends- single and married alike!)

-Invite them into your home and include them in your families. 

-Men, if you’re able, offer to help single women with home repairs or other things that may be a bit more difficult for them to accomplish alone. 

-Lastly, when your single friend has a hard day and wants to “vent” about his/her singleness.... listen. The pain and emotions that are at times associated with singleness are real. Share your own stories of wrestling with your current life circumstances if you’d like! But always end by pointing his/her eyes to Christ for satisfaction.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, that photo is of myself in 1 of 12... that's right, 12... bridesmaid dresses I own ;)

Words.

Words.

We use them every day. We think words, hear words, speak words, sing words, write words, and read words. We use words to communicate joy, anger, confusion, love.

Words are so important, so valued, that our Creator used words to create. He could have thought "let there be light" and there still would have been light. 

But He didn't. 

He spoke, and that is how the world came into existence. 

In Genesis chapter 1,the phrase "And God SAID" is repeated nine times as He is creating. And then this is where my mind gets blown, EVERY time... God created EVERYTHING through Jesus.

Let me explain. John 1:1-3 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that has been made." 

Let's replace each occurrence of "the Word" and all of the pronouns with "Jesus," of Whom these are referring to, and see if that ties all of this together.

"In the beginning was Jesus, and Jesus was with God, and Jesus was God. Jesus was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Jesus, and without Jesus nothing was made that has been made."

Then Satan slithers onto the scene and with him the pending Fall of man. 
What is the first thing that Satan does? He speaks. 
And his wicked words are in fact designed in such a way to call into question the very words of God Himself.

Oh, but wait... God doesn't stop there with the power of the Word. No, He then goes on to allow His Spirit to breathe words into various authors who wrote down the words of God, which we have now come to know as the Bible. 
And the Bible isn't just "some book." No, it is a story! The complete story of Redemption, to be exact.

John 1:14 says this, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." 
Who was it that became flesh and dwelt among us? Jesus. 
So then we have, "And Jesus became flesh and dwelt among us."

Wow.

God actually gave us His Word. Both in written form and in the flesh
to inspire and to atone; 
to encourage and to redeem;
to challenge and to sanctify;
to convict and to love.

Justin Taylor, in the book The Power of Words and the Wonder of God writes this:

When God's Son eventually enters human history as the God-man, He lives by God's Word (Luke 4:4), keeps God's Word (John 8:55), and preaches God's Word (Mark 2:2). The Father gave Jesus words, Jesus gave them to His followers, and His followers received them (John 17:8). Jesus' words are inseparable from His person and thus can be identified as having divine attributes.

What I'm getting at is this: words are powerful. The way that we speak can bring both life or death (Proverbs 18:21). 

As I have been studying about the Word and writing this, I have been so convicted of my own poor use of words; I have used words of anger, malice, slander, jealousy, pride, gossip, judgment, and condemnation. The Word has rebuked me and reminded me to listen before I speak (James 1:19), because my rash words are like a sword swing (Proverbs 12:18).

But the amazing part is this: while I have just been rebuked by the Word, He has also reminded me that the Word has already atoned for all of my wicked words.

WHAT?!

That right there is proof that God's words create, confront, convict, correct, and comfort. By His words He both interprets and instructs.

At every single stage in Redemptive history--from the time before time even began, to when God created the universe, to the fall of man, to Christ's birth and redemptive work on the cross, and to the coming consummation--God is there and He is not silent. And He has left us His Word to fight the battle that we face every day to believe the lies of both our flesh and the enemy that, once again, tell us we don't need God. That is why the Word is also called the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17); because we are meant to fight with it!

I am praying for you, whoever you are, and I am praying for myself 
that we will readily recognize the war of words that we are facing.
that our words will bring life, just as God's words have done and continue to do. 
that we will speak words of encouragement, hope, love, peace, unity, instruction, wisdom, and grace.
that above all, we will cherish the One True Word, and then hide His words in our hearts.

Would you pray with me?